I'm going on a journey. Wanna come?

[Judy]

Hello Fellow Feminists,

This is the first blog I have ever posted. Why start now? Well, I feel my message and upcoming journey are going to be life altering and for some bizarre reason I want to share it with you. So, without further delay let me open myself right up and put myself "out there".

After weeks, months, years of denial (and fear) I am finally embarking on a journey. It is a journey I must make alone while still having the support of family and friends...though many of them don't even know about it yet. I am going to conquer my depression!

Not to sound Tom Cruise-esque but I don't believe in drugs (right now) for my depression. First off: I have just recently admitted that I am depressed and I want to explore all of my treatment options before settling on medication. Secondly: I am still breastfeeding my son and do not want any medication leeching its way into his tiny little system. Yes, I've looked up the research and apparently there are medications that are safe to take while nursing, however I don't feel, personally, that the studies have been long enough to rule out long term effects soooooo, I'm choosing to hold off for now. Instead, I will be starting an intense therapy program referred to as "Individual Solution-Focused Counselling". I've contacted the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) office nearest to me and will begin therapy in the new year.

So, what made me decide to do this after years of denying I have a problem? Well, to make a very long story short, I grew up with a depressed mother and a very angry/abusive father. Once I had children I started to notice my behaviour was mirroring what I grew up with. I often get angry, yell, and have temper tantrums that rival - but often surpass - what my three-year-old can dish out. My marriage has also begun to suffer. My husband, bless his heart, sticks by me (why???) and just wants me "to get better".

I think a major part of being a feminist is being able to admit when you need help. I am not superwoman nor am I supermom. I am a woman, albeit a temporarily "broken" woman. I will be fine. I will get better. I will get stronger. My kids will remember their mother as a woman who was fun, caring, and kind. NOT a raving lunatic! Not that being a lunatic is necessarily a bad thing.

That being said...my next blog will outline my first therapy session and any "light bulb" moments I may have.

Thanks for coming along. I appreciate the company.

Judy

[Cassandra]

Hi Judy,
I think it's fantastic that you're taking the first steps along your journey to recovery. A lot of us in the Feminist Housewives community have struggled or are struggling with the same issues you are, so we're here for you. I'm so glad you're taking action to combat this vicious illness. Admitting you need help and -getting- that help is just the beginning. :)