THE MOTHER-IN-LAW

[Sam M]

First I want to say I love my mother-in-law and for the most part we get along really well, we rarely agree on anything but we still get along and one of the major things we disagree on is me being a staying at home mom and housewife. When she had my husband she stayed home for 6 weeks and then off to work. She has never told me this but I know she thinks I'm taking advantage of my husband. She thinks whatever job I have from home is never good enough because I still stay home. I work a part time job from home, go to school, raise my son and take care of her son and in her eyes I'm lazy. I have said many times that she wouldn't last two days in my shoes but se thinks I have it easy, like i just sit around and watch t.v. all day. Does anyone else have someone in there life like that?

[Erika]

Wow Sam,

I'm amazed that your mother-in-law voiced this - out loud. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a complex that wondered if mine thought this about me. I think as long as you and your husband are independent of his mom financially, that you'll have to try not to let it bother you so much. Hopefully, you have the full support of your husband on this issue. If so let him engage in educating her about how much of a blessing it is for your family to have you at home.

Balancing all of our responsibilities is hard enough, so I try not to focus on all the people who think I'm insane for leaving the work force. Yeah, it would be easier if those closest to us, our husbands, parents, siblings and inlaws were 100 percent supportive all the time, but at the end of the day I say "God are You pleased?" If He is, I'll keep doin' what I'm doin'.

I for one had no idea how much having a child would change me and as a result change some of my most important relationships. That aspect has been tough for me, since I'm already a little isolated being at home. But I feel it's the best thing for baby and me. Good luck to you.

If you don't mind me asking, what kind of work are you doing part-time from home?
Take care,
Erika

[Sam M]

that you for repling. I am a text chat operator.

[Cathy]

Well, it's always hard when others judge you. Figuring out how to stand behind your beliefs is hard enough when others generally agree with you. When others disagree is when the standing gets tough.

I, too, work from home. And while my parents and inlaws and hubby all are supportive, it's amazing to me how many people still think that I should have more time for them (and their needs): school committees, sports teams, scouting, etc. When I say a gentle, "no" I'm given the hairy eyeball. It's taken a while to learn the courage to smile and say "maybe next time."

Just as when well-intentioned strangers stop me and say "You have your hand full" I've had to learn a great reply: "It's better than when they were empty." A smile and nod. It throws them off. : -) And I like it that way.

[Sam M]

i really like that ill have to try say that its better then when they are empty its a great response