Women harassed on internet forums!

[Raine]

I am a stay at home mom. I have a 16yr boy (who I am educating at home) and a 2yr old girl.
My husband is an incredible guy... he treats me with consideration and respect. I always have a say in what is going on. My husband enjoys sailing and enjoys reading blogs associated with this sport.
Recently he sent me a link from this forum www.sailinganarchy.com, before you ask.. no he did not find it amusing in the least and is leaving this forum... the reason being is the constant sexual harassment and insults that are slung around about women. I really do not want to repeat any of that nastiness here.... I am asking for help from anyone who knows what can be done about this site. This site treats women like sexual objects that can work for them on their boats ONLY after giving them sexual favors.... (I cant describe the feeling it gives me just thinking of this junk) I attempted to write my opinion of what I thought and was promptly ripped up for it... sadly among them were women too.
I have been told that women dont care about this stuff and its not worth worrying over.... but I cant keep it off my mind.... it physically disgust me to know that there are websites like this that are glamorizing women being sexually harassed.... I thought the sport was sailing..... not targeting women.
If anyone from this site would like to go to this site to see what i'm talking about the direct link to the post is as follows..... good luck with coming away with any pride after their done with you though :( http://forums.sailinganarchy.com/index.php?showtopic=68158

PS... at least posting this to women who care helps my spirit some... thanks in advance... Raine

[Erin C]

Raine,

I totally empathize with you. Since starting this site, I've gotten hate mail like you wouldn't believe. We've also had trolls on the boards, but I've deleted them as quickly as possible. The thing that I had to learn about other forums is that they should be treated like private clubs. If you go in angry at them, the mob mentality will bowl you over. You don't deserve to be treated that way.

Men like the ones on the forum you mentioned are, unfortunately, not going to be changed by our outrage. In fact, it will probably just fuel their male chauvinism. The women who were accepting of this behavior will also not be changed by our outrage. Many of them learned long ago that if they act like 'one of the guys', they will get lots of attention, even if it is the demeaning kind.

If you really wanted to make these guys your personal crusade, you'd have to keep their mindset in the front of your thoughts. Instead of saying "I guess I'm fat at 130", you'd probably win them over by pointing out that the weight limit would filter out some especially hot celebrity women. For instance, Angelina Jolie and Jessica Alba (pre-pregnant) are usually around 130. Would they turn those ladies away? Are they 'fat chicks'?

I honestly think that the best way to combat this sort of prejudice is teaching our own sons what a normal woman looks like, without airbrushing or surgery, and teaching our daughters not to put up with and not try to conform to those images. We can also support companies who use normal women in their ads, like Dove and Suave. In many ways, our dollars mean more than our votes.

I hope that helps!

- Erin C.

[Raine]

Erin,
Thank you very much for your reply, what you have said makes a lot of sense. I'm glad there are women like you out there that can help guide us away from the anger and show us there are other ways to make change.

Raine

[Marta Jespersen]

In terms of the women who have accepted this form of reality I completely agree with you Erin. I used to be one of those women; of course at the time I was only in my early-mid teens and was completely oblivious as to what it means to be a woman, to be a feminist. I used to believe that I could not be loved by a man--other than family--wihtout giving into their sexual whims and desires. It was only 2.5 years ago (when I met my husband) that I learned otherwise. If it hadn't been for him wanting to abstain until we had a very stable relationship then I'd probably still feel that way. My way of thinking was triggered by my first sexual experience when I was 15. I wasn't given much of a choice. It was either try to find my way home from Okotoks, AB to Calgary, AB by walking in the freezing cold rain with no cell phone or money for a cab or give into this 20 year old man! Since then I've always been with men who are 5 years + my senior and very often, until my hubby, demanding sexually. I feel for these "girls"--and I use that term loosley meaning women who are unsure of themselves--and I know that until they are treated with the upmost respect that they won't treat themselves with respect or take themselves seriously. Some of these women, unfortunately, grew up in an abusive home and consider this treatment to be normal and ordinary. As for the men, chances are they too are insecure and unsure of themselves and so feel the need to dominate women--whom they view as weak and insignificant--in order to feed their ego's. Many of them probably hold employment with a position of power--often police officers, judges, high-powered business men etc. are abusive towards their wives/mistresses.

When considering these people you have to consider their background. You can't just attack them calling them weak...they already know this in their hearts but are too afraid of being rejected and beaten that they won't admitt it. In terms of these men, there really isn't much that can be said or done to change their minds. If a loved one is like this then all you can do--according to my beliefs--is hope and pray that God will deliver them of this attitude or condition. Otherwise, you just have to be strong and not allow them to break your spirit or your will.

[Gloria]

Hi Raine,
Saw their unbelivable web-site, I am sure there is a place to report this abuse. They are clearly slobs of every sort, but that is a male motivated bunch of slobs. Don't waste too much energy getting involved with their unsavory ideas of mockery, they must be a pretty messed up bunch. I woudn't trust them as far as you could throw them. Just remember that there are better places to visit, I like to touch base with this wonderful place, not to mention MamaDivas, and I am sure much more than that, especially that this is an election year and we have Hillary Clinton as a potential candidate for President. I don't know how you feel about that, being that I am aware that not everybody feels the same way as I do, but I am elated.

Men have gotten away with the victimization of women for since the begining of time. Most men would acknowledge that being married is truly a full time job, for them. But for women, it's like a delight, well it's not so, it takes a lot to keep interesting, and continue to be faithfull even when there may seem like times when the sense of attention is on it's last strand. That is when many hit that breaking point.

The key though is to not reach those points and always try to act in a respective manner, that is not always easy, but it is a better bet than trying to out do the other. Hope you are able to get some action for that raunch web-site, it should be reported. Whether they solicit to whom ever, the wording is raw, and nasty.

[scott matheson]

Hi I decided to register here so I could comment on sailing anarchy.com.
As a man I find this kind of thing offensive and childish.
My philosophy is that there needs to be a perfect "balance" restored to our lives on Earth by ensuring equality for everyone-including women of all races and religions.Men who behave like the ones at sailing anarchy pretend(or possibly even believe)that they are simply having a laugh,but underneath it all they are pathetic, frightened little boys.Real men feel no need to indulge in the stupid Sexist put downs designed to subjugate and control women.I refuse to lower myself.