Raising Socially Conscious Children

[Erin C]

Emily HW and I have been dilligently working on a redesign of the site and the addition of more content. There will soon be LOTS more to read. The last section I have to work on is a new one, called 'Raising Socially Conscious Children'. I have several ideas of my own, but I'd love some input from our fabulous community members. Here are some queries to get you thinking:

What would you like to see included?
What age range interests you most (for tips on teaching social consciousness)?
What do you want for the next generation?
What sort of changes would you like them to bring?

If any of you have a strong interest in one of the topics and would like to write about it, I'd happily put prominent links back to your own site/blog/etc. I've got my own list, but I'd like to see what you ladies have to say without 'prompting'.

Thanks in advance!
- Erin C.

[Caleb Hummell]

My profession during the 1980s and 1990s was to coach professional business speakers--seminar presenters. And one of my biggest challenges was getting women to act more forcefully and less stereotypically "lady-like." Now, being male, I had real difficulties getting women presenters to be more forceful in their verbal delivery and in their body language. I didn't want to make them more male; I wanted them to be more forceful, direct, and emphatic, especially when they were offering business advice. While I had pretty good success, some of that early conditioning was really difficult to overcome.

When my daugher was born in the early '80s, her mother and I made a conscious decision that she would not be raised with those stereotypes. And one of the biggest things we coached her on was the way she came across verbally. She's now proudly feminist and unabashed in her support of women who want to dash those old stereotypes (and the men who want to assist that effort).

In my experience, word choice, voice tone, and body language are absolutely essential factors that women need to pay attention to if they want to break the stereotypes. (Well, not taking their husbands' names when they marry is a real issue, too, but that's another story).

[Dagny Taggart]

I'm working mom who sells big ideas in healthcare. I am de facto a good and forceful (that doensn't mean loud) speaker. I've found there is wide variance in reaction to a powerful woman depending on age. Old guys don't like it. Mid range are caught off guard and are intrigued and anybody younger than 35 puts you in the "strong woman like my favorite girl band" so your cool with them. So as demographics drive destiny, the old guys will die off and the strong woman presence will be welcomed. In fact- since it has been gone for so long- it is welcomed. I'm not a hillary fan- but I think she has done a great job and simply has convinced many man she would kick anybody's butt.

[Caleb Hummell]

I'd disagree that "...old guys don't like it." I'm an old guy and really resent all of the so-called feminine stuff--skirts/dresses, hump-me-pumps, nylons, taking husbands' names, makeup...you name it. I find it insulting and denigrating to women, and pandering to men's basic idiocy. Most of the "old guys" I work with (we're all older than 55) feel the same way. We have absolutely no time for all of that stereotypicaly feminine garbage. And, again, it's not about making women more like men. It's about equality and equalizing the relationships so there aren't power games going on.

I love Hillary. I figure she could kick ass and take names with the best of them. And, I dare say, she's quite a bit tougher than McCain. But, then, she's all about breaking down those tired old stereotypes, whether it's in business, politics, or culturally-defined nonsense.

[Dagny Taggart]

Dear Sir-

This thread was referencing a style of speaking not dress. Be on point. And please let's be real....the board room is still closed to women- check the math. Yes- this will change, and most likely will change first in industries such as information technology and other industries that skew towards younger demographics.

[Caleb Hummell]

Books I can recommend:

"How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable," by Suzette Hadin Elgin

"You Can't Say That To Me!," by Suzette Hadin Elgin

"How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work," by Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey

"A Safe Place for Dangerous Truths, " by Annette Simmons. Annette's a good friend, has written numerous books, and uses storytelling as a means of connecting and getting messages across. Check out her web site at www.groupprocessconsulting.com

[Marta Jespersen]

Teaching our childrent he importance of social responsibility means being active in our communities, cities etc. For example, if you live in a relatively large city chances are there's a problem with homelessness; for children who are old enough to pour their own juice or make their own cereal take them down to your local soup kitchen and put in some volunteer hours. Teach your children that they have it good! And becuase they do they need to give back. In addition to volunteering your time you can, for a family who can afford to, make donations to local charities, every spring when you clean out your closets take the clothes to the local women's shelter and toys too. Not only does this teach them that they have a responsibility to their city it also can help keep them from getting into hardcore drug use and slacking off at school etc. because they'll see what that type of lifestyle can lead to. Remember, it's always the little things that count the most! Reading books about political correctness and powerful speaking is fine and it might help them with a project or two but it won't teach them practical knowledge. Booksmarts are good for those who want to just sit in an office and never plan to come into contact with reality but, "streetsmarts" combined with booksmarts make for an extremely powerful and wise individual.

[Aphie]

How about small, practical solutions to the problem of raising socially responsible children?
For instance, teaching children about growing your own herbs (at least), and recycling plastic containers and old clothes and cloth items? My girlfriend and her six year old "purge" her toys every year before Christmas - find all the stuff she hasn't really played with in the past year, clean it up together, and either donate it to goodwill, or if it's still in good enough condition, give it to a wish tree or similar Christmas toy drive.

I am also (as you know) interested in working on breaking down gender expectations and conditioning even from birth - be good to see some stuff addressing the way kids are conditioned to be a "big and strong helper" or "daddy's little princess" from the get go (I've been baby clothes shopping today. It's bloody INFURIATING, I tell you!)

[Marion]

I would like a section for childless housewives.

[Amy V.]

Here! Here!