"That's no way to raise a man!"

[Erin C]

My grandparents recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. We had a big party/reception for them and I believe that they had a great time. Of course, I needed to bring their first great-grandchild, nine month old Simon, to the celebration, which I was happy to do.

However, this celebration brought out a lot of people, most who were my age in the '50s and early '60s, and put them on a collision course with me. Some notable conversations happened, which I would like to share with all of you.

The one referenced in the title of this post was spoken by my great uncle Jerry, from Tennessee. I was sitting away from most of the other people, breastfeeding Simon. Jerry boiled over and said, "You're still feeding him from your...", gesturing uncomfortably at his chest, "...that's no way to raise a man!"
Somewhat shocked, I stuttered "...but he's a baby."
Jerry curtly replied "And he always will be thanks to you," and stormed off.

That was one of those moments where I wish I could be as clever as Doctor Who, defeating enemies by making them feel bad about what they are doing.

The next situations happened when I was carrying Simon in a sling. There's not a unique conversation that stands out in my mind, but here are some quotes:
"Why don't you just put him down?"
"He's never going to walk if you keep carrying him."
"You're spoiling him."
Wait, I was mistaken. One quote does stand out in my mind, again from uncle Jerry, "You should let him come to Tennessee with me. Give me a week and I'll make a man out of him."

Ok, one more and then you'll be free to tell me your thoughts. Cousins of my grandfather, who were mostly polite but obviously uncomfortable about my previous antics, asked me if Simon watched any kids shows. I started to say something about Baby Einstein and they nodded approvingly, saying that their grandchild now loved Vivaldi. I then broke rapport with them with this sentence: "He also likes Sesame Street - especially Elmo."
"Oh, you've got to be careful with Sesame Street," he said, "their message is not always right." (emphasis his, not mine)
Again, I was not up to snuff in dealing out clever responses, so I said, "Uh....I guess you've got to be careful with anything..." and wandered off, muttering something about changing Simon's diaper.

So...are you laughing? Outraged? Think I'm whining? Tell me!

[Molly]

No, I don't think you're whining -- do you want to know what I would do if I were you? Go pick up that book called Attachment Parenting by William and Martha Sears. If you haven't read it yet, run don't walk to your nearest bookstore and get it. Man, do I love that book. Everything in it has taught me so much about good mothering and has made me feel very right, very confident about how I've chosen to parent. Other people's comments still do bother me (like when my MIL told me my 2-yr-old son "wouldn't grow" if I continued to nurse him), but I have the wisdom of that book deep inside me now and I am truly grateful to have read it. Another book in the same vein is called Mothering Your Nursing Toddler by Norma Jane Bumgarner. You will never inwardly doubt your mothering choices again!!!!!!!!!

[everymom]

OMG! I used to get that kind of crap all the time! First of all don't worry about the witty comebacks, if they come great if not you can always repeat over and over again "Thanks for the tip". Just keep repeating with a smile .You have a baby for crying out loud, there is no way you are well rested enough to be throwing out witty comebacks (FYI: Dr. Who never had his nipple bitten by a teething nine month old) You are the mom, you get to call the shots, pick to shows, feed your child any which way you see fit. Jerry clearly didn't get enough hugs as a child and is a miserable person. Misery loves company, don't be his. You are not whining, just venting. By the way, one time at the grocery store I had half of my stuff on the belt, half in the cart and my daughter is pitching an epic fit in the carrier I had her in. So I prop the bottle up with her coat so I can get the rest of my groceries and get home with crazy-baby. The woman behind me says "You shouldn't prop bottles up like that, it'd bad for their teeth." WHAT???!!!! First of all she's barely three months old, no teeth yet. Anyway I turned around and said "Thanks Dr. Spock I'll keep it in mind". Feel free to use that one whenever you want. Hang in there.