feministhousewives

Are you a Feminist struggling to make sense of domestic life?

Many of you have expressed discomfort with the label feminist because of its weighted history. So, please share what it means to you!

I understand that this could be a one sentence answer to a full blown doctoral thesis. Just tell me what's on your mind. I'm going to work on my answer to this and get back to you.

- Erin

Tags: feminist, the second f word, what feminism means to me

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I'll start! A large part of feminism, to me, is embracing what is, well, feminine! It's being comfortable with yourself as a woman, and offering voices to those who are not yet to that point. It's about sharing, talking things out, nonviolence -- all of which I have heard being called effeminate. It's about support, and having the right to choose your own life path, passions, and loves. In this, not only women are feminists, but men as well! Wouldn't it be great if someday our society did not care so much for labeling things as feminine and masculine, but instead focused on allowing people to live in their chosen life paths (as long as they are not hurting others)?

So, ladies, embrace who you are and realize that we are all beautiful and amazing creatures who deserve to be themselves, whoever that may be! SAHM. WAHM, WOHM, single, childless, young, old, poor, wealthy: we are all important.

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I really hate it when women want to claim the right to wear pants, to have their own bank accounts, own property in their own names, basically control their own bodies and lives, but take the "I'm not a feminist but.." line. It just seems so utterly rude and disingenuous, to take all these things for granted that earlier waves of feminism fought for, but tar the title of feminist with the patriarchal "man-hating lesbian" claptrap - and for women to be fooled into doing it to themselves seems the greatest insult of all.

I think feminism (as the famous saying goes) is the radical notion that women are people too. I think there are all sorts of feminisms, and it's not one massive, homogenous set of beliefs. But I think to declare oneself a feminist - to claim that title as part of your self-identity, is to declare your willingness to engage with popular ideologies (cultural memes, ideas, beliefs, expectations and embedded "that's the way it is" structures for my non-cultural studies compatriots) about gender and what we, as women (and men, too) are expected to look, act, think and be like - to think critically about these expectations, and to be prepared to reject and/or challenge them.
I think that men can be feminists. I don't think you HAVE to challenge dominant ideologies in your personal choices to be a feminist - choosing to be a SAHM can be a valid feminist decision, just as choosing not to have children at all, ever, and wanting to be a CEO before you're forty.

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That's kind of a weird position to me. You resent people for utilizing their legal rights (rights you obviously support) and the current culture (pants being a cultural choice, not a legal RIGHT), because you think they don't appreciate it? How do you know what people appreciate, based on whether or not they want to use the word Feminist to identify themselves? As noted by yourself, that word has a lot of connotations, and many (myself included) would rather avoid it than spend a half hour explaining and defending my own personal definition.

As to your example of wearing pants -- Wearing pants today isn't rebelling against anything. Everyone wears pants. If you want to be counter-culture, wear a knee length skirt and cover your cleavage. (General "you", not you personally.)

I think too much of so-called feminist behavior is really counter-culture behavior, and not really anything that validates or uplifts womanhood.

Sorry for my excessive use of parenthesis.

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Being a feminist housewife means never having to say "please," but always enjoying saying "thank you."

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I said 'be prepared to challenge them' not that you HAD to challenge norms to be a feminist. I think your own biases may be coming into your reading, with your suggestions that I'm saying you must be "counter-culture" to be feminist.

I can see that to publicly lay claim to the title of 'feminist' these days can be a counter-culture act, though, because there IS this lack of understanding about what previous women calling themselves feminists defined as their goals (and what they achieved), and so you do have to have these awkward, half-hour conversations 'justifying' your position to people. It makes me cross that feminism's opposition has been allowed to define the term to the majority. And it makes me cross that people who are ignorant of the word's history and background reject it so casually.

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For me, feminism is upholding a natural truth. The fact that women are so capable and have so much to offer in every arena is taken for granted. Not only by men, but by women. This is sad. I get the sense that, as women, we tend to hold ourselves back from achieving our goals because it makes men feel less manly when "their women" outperform them. Or because it makes the other women in our lives either feel bad about themselves or feel the need to be catty towards us. This is why I'm trying to start an initiative in my community to teach women how to be more self-aware, self-sufficient and self-actualizing. I think that once a woman learns and accepts that she is capable of being many things and that her talents are not limited to those she's allowed to project, she is a formidable force.

Feminism to me is the vehicle for helping women to understand their power and to begin to appreciate what makes us so damned wonderful! It doesn't matter who we are or where we came from. It doesn't matter if we've made mistakes. It doesn't matter if we've been told that we can't do something simply because it's not "appropriate" for a woman. It's up to women to share their challenges and successes with one another to help lift each other up and over the walls.

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Feminism shouldn't be confused with militant feminism. It doesn't have to be a controversial subject to be worn as a chip on your shoulder; for me, it's simply the expression that being a female has power in and of itself. There are differences between the male and female, and they can be celebrated. Neither gender has more value than the other; it truly takes two to make the world work.
But the key, to me, is to look beyond gender; no one's limitations or strengths can be defined by gender alone. Each person has individual value that transcends gender.

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The sound of the sharp end of a pitchfork prong going up the butt of the jerks who need it the most. In a nutshell.

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There are many forms of feminism. Most people think that feminism means burning your bra and calling yourself a liberated woman, and turning lesbian for the sake of the cause; but, it doesn't have to mean that! If you break down the word you get feminine and ism. An -ism is something that is dogmatic so it follows that the word means the dogma of being feminine. Well that makes you wonder what is this supposed dogma? It's whatever you want it to be; that is, it is you! You as a female are the definition of feminism. All of your beliefs and values, the way you were raised, the way you carry yourself towards your partner or towards others. In my case feminism is a clear set of gender specific roles, a mind just waiting to absorb any form of prose that I can lay my eyes on, Christian values and a traditional home...sort of. I am self, mother, wife, Christian, student (post-secondary) and so much more. Now that, ladies and gents, is a feminine -ism. I'd like to paraphrase Christine de Pizan and say that it is not gender that makes us superior or inferior but rather it is our Virtue, whether or not we live morally culpable lives that makes one person superior to another.

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Feminism. A woman who is strong in mind, heart, thought, and opinion. She knows that the boundaries set for her are set only by her. And she knows she can surpass them if she wants to put the effort into it.
I am raising 3 daughters with the theory that only you can tell yourself you can't do it. Anyone else who tells you that you can't do it....should only make you want to work harder and prove yourself. And yes, girls can lay floor tile, change light fixtures, work on cars, cook dinner, breastfeed a baby, and look good the whole time. Of course, all of that is an option. A woman's personal option.

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To me, a woman who calls herself a feminist is a woman who is living her life with her eyes open. She sees the world around her and she sees the needs and wants of every person in her family -- parents, children, husband and self. She sees that every person she loves has equal value to every other person. Mom or Dad or Junior is no less and no more important than any other family member. So the challenge is to try to contribute to every person's well-being. Since there are only 24 hours in every day and only so much energy and resources available, the trick is to make sure that every person gets a chunk of the energy, resources and love necessary to keep going. Mom gets some, Grandparents get some, Kids get some, but perhaps since Mom is hopefully also an educated feminist, Mom's extra job is to make sure that everybody understands this philosophy and helps out in some comparable way. That's how I can put it, for now.

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I applaud the words of everyone here (although I remember militant feminism and bra-burning quite fondly).

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